How often do you say to yourself, "I'm doing an awesome job parenting my teenage daughter"?
Yet in most areas you rock as a mom.
You make sure she gets to school on time.
You know when her assignments are due.
You've done your research and hired the best tutor, or coach.
You make sure the parents are home before she spends the night at her friend's house.
You monitor her cell phone or laptop.
You make sure she has a new dress and shoes for the dance.
You shuttle her around town even though you have a full-time job.
So why do not you feel great about the amazing job your doing as a parent?
It could be because your relationship with your daughter is not great.
In reality, moms feel stressed, panicked, frustrated, sad, angry, and if they are really being honest a little shame about their relationships with their daughters.
Look it's not your fault. You know how common it is for moms and teenage daughters to be at conflict with another.
One research study revealed that mothers and daughters on average fight 20 times a month. Considering that early adolescence starts at nine, that's close to 2000 fights you could have with your daughter while she was living at home.
Here's the problem. A healthy mother-daughter relationship is essential for parenting and vital for your daughter's well-being.
The article Adolescent-parent attachment: Bonds that support healthy development, by Marlene M Moretti, Ph.D. and Maya Peled, MA (Paediatric Child Health. Oct 2004; 9 (8): 551-555), confirms that a healthy connection between parent and teen is linked to better performance and coping strategies for both parties, and more competency in peer relationships. A healthy connection is correlated with fewer mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, conduct disorder, and aggression. The research also indicated lower rates of teenage pregnancy, eating disorders, excessive drinking, drug use, and risky sexual behavior.
I know you know this, but having an authentic, positive, current relationship with your daughter is not optional. It's the most important facet of your parenting.
I'm not saying this is easy. There are many challenges to this mother-daughter connection. This is why I founded the Power Your Parenting.
It really is complicated and I know this first hand since I have my own teenage daughter, and I made plenty of mistakes.
You really can have an amazing authentic relationship with your daughter. This does not mean that you are her best friend. But you do not want to be her enemy, either. You can hold on to your authority as mom and still have a richly rewarding connection.
It's time to reclaim a good relationship with your daughter. You do not need to suffer through another year of constant drama. It's time to raise your expectations for what's possible during your daughter's teenage years.
Maybe some of you have given up on your relationship with your daughter.
Please do not. What you need is a guide, someone who has lived it and has the professional experience to show you how to reconnect with your daughter and enjoy the teenage years.
I did not think I was going to offer my Power Your Parenting program this year because I was busy writing Dial Down the Drama. But it is now complete in the publisher's hands.
And I have felt a strong leading to offer it in April.
Power Your Parenting is a 7 week program where I will help guide you through the complexities of the mother daughter relationship so you can dial down the drama, reconnect with your teenage daughter and reclaim your life.
See, when you dial down the drama, you'll discover the upside to living with a teenage girl. Your daughter reminds you to laugh, to have fun, to chill, to put yourself out there, to try new things, to create adventure, and to live fully alive.