I think most people have been dreading today. Even though the act of democracy in itself is rather beautiful, election days are inevitably ugly. No matter who wins, we are guaranteed to see a messy whirlwind of vitriol and anger.
Britain offers tea and sympathy
You can borrow this if you like, might come in handy today.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 8, 2016
New York, meet the world’s tech scene
5,000 Tech leaders are coming to NYC this November to learn and do business. This is your chance to join them.
Royal Jordanian spots an opportunity
— Royal Jordanian (@RoyalJordanian) November 8, 2016
This is actually how elections work
Me to poll worker: Ken Bone follows me on twitter. I will vote thrice.
— your baby boy (@trillballins) November 8, 2016
Good luck on your IQ test today.
Britain, who failed their IQ test with Brexit.#Election2016
— 📸 (@behlul_official) November 8, 2016
Britain has bigger problems.
— Khalil Sehnaoui (@sehnaoui) November 8, 2016
Voters out (for Harambe)
“How did we let these clowns come this close to presidency” asks a nation on its 6th month of mourning a gorilla pic.twitter.com/c4Vjq05SQh
— Cameron (@CameronComeau16) November 7, 2016
Tfw you’re worried you might witness the end of the American experiment but you’re also a Very Good Dog. pic.twitter.com/EjW24gOeBY
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) November 8, 2016
Probably the only feel-good story of today. Cherish it.
— CNN (@CNN) November 8, 2016
Still better than a Vox explainer
OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER.
— DVS (@DVSblast) November 2, 2016
A high-chair isn’t a platform
Why is this screenshot from a Hillary campaign video the funniest thing I’ve ever seen pic.twitter.com/21FbTs3kHb
— Taylor Tetreau (@taylortetreau) November 7, 2016
Eric Trump accidentally breaks the law
I always had her pegged as a Vermin Supreme fan, myself
When you trust your wife to vote for you, but not really. pic.twitter.com/tLprW7iXI3
— Master of None (@Gabbienain) November 8, 2016
A pretty apt metaphor
This is absolutely the only way the first vote could have been registered in this election. https://t.co/qhoJ4AJe0q
— Anson Whaley (@AnsonWhaley) November 8, 2016
Ted Cruz still can’t get a break
@tedcruz welp guess you’ll get another shot in 4 years if the parasitic brain worm wearing your body doesn’t give up on you like america has
— Comment Etiquette (@commentiquette) November 8, 2016
— Shitty Watercolour (@SWatercolour) November 8, 2016
Best vine of the campaign?
— ✈️jeremy ✈️ (@xjeremymx) November 8, 2016
I’d put money on that
PREDICTION: By this time tomorrow, Trump will scream “This is all YOUR fault!” at an antique mirror, then hurl a golden chalice at it
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) November 8, 2016
Fun fact: Hillary Clinton actually has a burn book
I’m voting for Cady Heron because she pushed Regina George in front of a bus #ElectionDay
— Young kicking net (@ISmashNastyHoes) November 8, 2016
Less stressful than endlessly refreshing FiveThirtyEight
— Washington Post PR (@WashPostPR) November 8, 2016
Delete your account. https://t.co/Oa92sncRQY
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 9, 2016
Okay, that was pretty funny.
How long did it take your staff of 823 people to think that up–and where are your 33,000 emails that you deleted? https://t.co/gECLNtQizQ
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 9, 2016
1,456 DAYS UNTIL ELECTION DAY 2020
— Keaton Fox (@keatonfox) November 8, 2016
It really blows my mind that Twitter can be the driving force behind America’s election and simultaneously fail to make a profit.
— Justin Pot (@jhpot) November 7, 2016
— Ric Flair® (@RicFlairNatrBoy) November 8, 2016
My contribution (I’m sorry)
This cheese is like Donald Trump because… (Ali G voice) E mental. pic.twitter.com/VYd89BLrCN
— Matthew Hughes (@matthewhughes) November 8, 2016
More to come
Provided that I’m not catatonic with sadness or fear, or that I’m not just completely shitfaced (and really, could you blame me?), I’m going to keep updating this. If you’ve seen any hilarious tweets, let me know in the comments below!