I Swear to God Siri Was Messing With Me Last Night About Barbara Bush's Height

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Photo via AP

Last night I was sitting in bed, exhausted and sick, when I decided to yell questions at Siri about Barbara Bush’s height. I had recently read a report on Jezebel.com about Siri claiming Barbara Bush is just four feet tall, and I wanted to try it for myself. None of my coworkers believe me, but what happened next was really weird.

“Siri,” I shouted into my phone, because I never got the hang of talking to a phone like it’s a person. “How tall is Barbara Bush?”

And then, I swear before God and all his tiny saints, she responded with something I’ve never heard before:

“Hmm I believe someone just asking me about this the other day.”

That’s very funny, and very weird, and I was excited to tell my coworkers about it. But I didn’t take a screenshot, and now it’s gone. Staff writer Clover Hope also says she managed to elicit the “Hmm” response from Siri, but she too neglected take a screenshot.

Siri’s responses this morning are totally boring.

She then offers a range of Google results that are so dull I’m not even going to tell you about them (except for the one that links to Jezebel.com).

The Teeny Tiny Barbara Bush Conspiracy is dead. I am bereft.

Siri is claiming total ignorance.

Nobody else can get Siri to give that answer. A further question: Are Clover and I locked in a bizarre folie à deux?

Our coworkers are also unkindly gaslighting us.

“Here’s a question,” features editor Joanna Rothkopf asked. “Did you call someone? Was it someone on the phone? Not Siri?”

I cannot believe how hostile my workplace is and I cannot believe Siri is fucking with us like this. Please get in touch if you know why she’s doing this.

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